Feels Different

Note: I first wrote this 3 years ago in the fall of 2021. It was written with a rap delivery in mind.

It hit me like a bullet train
As fast as lightning in the rain
Don’t even know what it did to me
A shake-up in my reality

Wasn’t sure if it was good for me
The more I looked
The more certainty
I see,
For sure,
There was an irregular curiosity
An unexplainable fascination
With the life of someone far from me

Couldn’t be certain it was mutual
With time passing it was eventual
That something had to be flexible
For the future is a bit unpredictable

Caught feelings unexpectedly
No more avoidance, just anxiety
Tried to think through these feelings
One by one
Until I could truly figure out if it was real or..
Just another one and done
Crush or lust or other stuff

And it seems to me
As I was on my feet
That no one’s going to perfectly
meet all my life’s wants and needs

And if they just happen to line up enough
A bit of tolerable negative stuff
No one’s perfect, and neither am I
Self-improvement, day by day I try

Life’s feeling different
And so am I
Taking it a day at a time
And with that, I sigh..

To give it a shot, I want to try
Isn’t that how life is?
With each moment passing by?

Missed opportunities, I don’t want to have
Something’s very different about this, I’m very glad
If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be
I would regret it if I just let it leave