Shadowy Shenanigans

Poetry

music is healing

when my emotions were hard to express outwardly i turned to music spending hours upon hours on YouTube watching lyric videos listening to covers. even now, music is my go-to source for relief. it's my source of joy, it's my source for expressions of sorrow to

Life

Am I AD(H)D or has social media altered my brain?

Stepping into exploring neurodivergence

Ideas and Thought Experiments

The Prolification of Generated Stock Imagery

GPT Art has its own art style

What’s up with the Plushies?

I’m an adult who enjoys plushies

News Featured

Welcome to my Ghost Blog!

Hi all! I'm kicking off this Ghost blog as an alternate source for the things that I post on Medium! You may have noticed that my Medium content has migrated over. In the future, I will be posting primarily to Ghost for my email subscribers and on Medium.

Which is Harder: School or Post-Grad Adulthood?

The transition away from a structured life

The Hackathon of Film: 24-Hour Film Fests

An Outsider’s Experience as a Participant

Feels Different

Note: I first wrote this 3 years ago in the fall of 2021. It was written with a rap delivery in mind. It hit me like a bullet train As fast as lightning in the rain Don’t even know what it did to me A shake-up in my reality

Chronically Online

Chronically online Searching for some passive company Not in a hunt to do anything Just some friends to sit around Chronically online Chatting away the time Socialization But not the in-person kind Chronically online Physically alone, not too lonely Wish my friends were with me But we’re busy with

Unboxing My Emotions

From emo and numb → emotional

Falling Against a Wall

I’m glad I took the risk Took the risk to fall I used to be scared to even fall at all I wanted to get to know you more To learn about who you are But every chance I tried to text All I hit against were walls You’

Lost at Sea

He flails his arms against the wave which engulfs him. Fighting back, trying not to drown. He wants to find a boat, a raft… Something that he can reach for to stay afloat. He’s strong though. He has the endurance and stamina to persist But the levels are slowly

The Limerent Fallout

Desperate to maintain A friendship which causes pain Because of the rare hope of a response The care that is genuine Is sabotaged by imagination Of an unreciprocated love It makes me uncomfortable To make him uncomfortable And to see things fall apart But the limerence in me Tries hard

Have I Fallen?

To see a friend in a different light Is one of ego’s admission. To reconcile with feelings of plight Is a vulnerable confession. As time moves forward and Decisions are made, The strands of the universe Start to drop off and fade Into the world of “what if?”s

Anxious Heart

My heart is split Split in two It wasn’t broken — no, but it’s getting pulled apart by the attention that it’s got On one side, there’s validation a secure, attention. one that puts my heart at ease On the other, there’s a longing for the

Are We Friends or More Than Friends?

Diving into Queerplatonic Relationships

Why Am I Like This?

Be still, my beating heart you’re more confident, I know you are I’ve never acted like this before But every time I’m with you, it comes out of me evermore My extreme politeness surprises me It’s a bit jarring, I’m sure A large contrast between

Mate Signaling at a Gay Club

Becoming aware of my hetero-romantic asexuality

Resentment

I was full of resentment muttering under my breath feeling like i was wasting my time

Snowy Mountain

Were you there when it happened? Most people weren’t. So they wouldn’t understand The amount of fear I hold When looking at the snowy mountain I watched it happen. I watched how the seemingly fun sport Turned sour In front of my eyes. The excruciating pain The memories

Featured

2023 Reflections and 2024 Resolutions

Another year has passed, and it’s time to reflect

It Doesn’t Get Easier

Beep beep beep It never gets any easier Does it? Facing my own mortality Watching you A constant reminder that life is fragile And in a quick moment could be taken away Three years ago I watched him pass And tonight, I sit in vigil Staying by you. It really

A Moment in Time

She sits on a train sitting across from him She’s a bit tired from the long days of travel He’s drawing the window shade down to block out the sun And she notices She catches his eyes And he gives a slow smile in return She’s a

A Black Cat

I met a mysterious black cat He glanced at me briefly before running off into the shadows I wonder where he came from The curiousity is captivating Sometimes a bit overwhelming I wonder where the cat is going He’s a black cat Full of secrets Only sharing them with

Not Looking

I’m not looking for a relationship I have other priorities right now I’m interested, but my life’s been quite busy And I’m not sure if I can dedicate the time you deserve I’m not looking for a relationship I’m seeing someone privately, unsure of