There's no right answer to the cycle of life

I've always had this internal battle within myself– between one side that's listened to the family environment that I grew up in, seeking out and walking towards the idea of "stability" that was ingrained in my head, and the one that's always looked outwards at the inspirational figures I came across online first and eventually in real life, friends who were doing the "cool things".

Work hard in school, go to a good college, get a solid job, find a partner, get married, maybe buy a house, perhaps start a family, and retire. That was the stereotype of a life path called "normal" in my mind—certain milestones marking major life events that one would or "should" achieve. Of course, nothing in that list of milestones is fundamentally wrong, but it is very, very bland. There's not a lot of flavor to any of it.

And maybe that's the thing– the opportunity for adding your own twist in your path of life through those milestones that you may want for yourself is colored by the risks you take, the hobbies you try out, the places you visit, and the people you meet. It's possible to rewrite the list of milestones into 3 big ideas:

1. Learn things
2. Do things that earn you money
3. "Live, laugh, love"

Let's expand on that a bit and put it into some more context.

1. Learn things (as a kid, your parents are funding your life – as an adult, you find ways to fund it yourself)
2. Do things that earn you money (work for a company, start your own business, etc. – hopefully it's not miserable work)
3. "Live, laugh, love" (enjoy your life doing things you enjoy, stay healthy, find community, have friends and loved ones)

There's one last bullet point that I left out, which is:

4. Pay it forward (raise kids and teach them things, volunteer in the community, help your friends)

There's literally no right way to live life. The 4 bullets above kind of show that life is still a cycle, but you can make it whatever you want.

Lately, I've seen a lot of career-related content from folks who have taken the leap away from traditional corporate work into something more creative. I often hear "the grass isn't always greener" as a common sentiment for those comparing the two paths. Some people prefer being an employee, and others prefer self-employment. This song by Katherine Ho describes this feeling pretty well:

The Fire Within

Having access to YouTube as a kid unlocked a world of possibilities outside the suburban environment I grew up in. There was always a fire within me that wanted to achieve something– reach a goal, learn a new thing, "git gud", and prove myself. It's hard to describe what it feels like, but it feels like an energy that's always saying "Go, go, go". Maybe it's fueled by bursts of inspirational speeches, existing momentum, or an acceptance that it's okay to go towards my goals.

There was a period of my life when I intentionally suppressed that urge to do things. It wasn't a fun time. I would project my frustration on others, and it wouldn't lead to good relationships. The fire never dimmed; it only grew stronger. Once I let go of this constraint I put on myself with how I lived my life, I was able to form stronger friendships.

My battle with this idea of stability continues to this day as I refrain from sharing my personal goals with certain people in my life who expect and want me to "settle". (I have covered some aspects of this topic in a previous blog.) Mostly because they feel like people who have "the fire" often struggle with completing the "cycle of life" and hitting those milestones. Sure, it may be more difficult, but I think that with anything in life, if it's enough of a priority and there's enough luck involved, these life goals can be achieved.