Note: I first wrote this 3 years ago in the fall of 2021. It was written with a rap delivery in mind. It hit me like a bullet train As fast as lightning in the rain Don’t even know what it did to me A shake-up in my reality

Chronically online Searching for some passive company Not in a hunt to do anything Just some friends to sit around Chronically online Chatting away the time Socialization But not the in-person kind Chronically online Physically alone, not too lonely Wish my friends were with me But we’re busy with

I’m glad I took the risk Took the risk to fall I used to be scared to even fall at all I wanted to get to know you more To learn about who you are But every chance I tried to text All I hit against were walls You’

He flails his arms against the wave which engulfs him. Fighting back, trying not to drown. He wants to find a boat, a raft… Something that he can reach for to stay afloat. He’s strong though. He has the endurance and stamina to persist But the levels are slowly

Desperate to maintain A friendship which causes pain Because of the rare hope of a response The care that is genuine Is sabotaged by imagination Of an unreciprocated love It makes me uncomfortable To make him uncomfortable And to see things fall apart But the limerence in me Tries hard

To see a friend in a different light Is one of ego’s admission. To reconcile with feelings of plight Is a vulnerable confession. As time moves forward and Decisions are made, The strands of the universe Start to drop off and fade Into the world of “what if?”s

My heart is split Split in two It wasn’t broken — no, but it’s getting pulled apart by the attention that it’s got On one side, there’s validation a secure, attention. one that puts my heart at ease On the other, there’s a longing for the

Be still, my beating heart you’re more confident, I know you are I’ve never acted like this before But every time I’m with you, it comes out of me evermore My extreme politeness surprises me It’s a bit jarring, I’m sure A large contrast between

I was full of resentment muttering under my breath feeling like i was wasting my time

Were you there when it happened? Most people weren’t. So they wouldn’t understand The amount of fear I hold When looking at the snowy mountain I watched it happen. I watched how the seemingly fun sport Turned sour In front of my eyes. The excruciating pain The memories

Beep beep beep It never gets any easier Does it? Facing my own mortality Watching you A constant reminder that life is fragile And in a quick moment could be taken away Three years ago I watched him pass And tonight, I sit in vigil Staying by you. It really

She sits on a train sitting across from him She’s a bit tired from the long days of travel He’s drawing the window shade down to block out the sun And she notices She catches his eyes And he gives a slow smile in return She’s a

I met a mysterious black cat He glanced at me briefly before running off into the shadows I wonder where he came from The curiousity is captivating Sometimes a bit overwhelming I wonder where the cat is going He’s a black cat Full of secrets Only sharing them with

I’m not looking for a relationship I have other priorities right now I’m interested, but my life’s been quite busy And I’m not sure if I can dedicate the time you deserve I’m not looking for a relationship I’m seeing someone privately, unsure of

I’m not trying to incite jealousy That’s just not who I am I don’t know if I can stop name Dropping, I’ll try Cause I respect your heart That I ripped apart with tears in my eyes He’s been on my mind a lot these

scattered thoughts, a poem